October 5, 2004
my heart has really been hurting the past few days...i have always disliked
organized religion...specifically doctrinated organized religion (which includes
almost all if not all)...the more i read the more i feel that most people who
claim to be Christians have lost their focus on God...and i think this is why
churches create doctrine...i think churches have lost their focus on God...how
could they not when the Christians in the church have lost their focus as well...
the part that hurts is knowing that i did not even know i had lost focus on God
and i image that most other Christians do not know it either...i learned tonight that
"Christian" means "little Christ"...Christ always went to God with his problems...
Christ always had God at his center...the more i look at my life which i always
assumed was Christ like enough i see that it was not even close...it is as if
Christ did not exist at all in my life...
someone recently shared a sunday sermon with me...the main points were
- Prepare your heart
- Offer God your best
- Focus on God, not yourself
Romans 12:1
And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let
them be a living and holy sacrifice - the kind he will accept. When you think of
what he has done for you, is this too much to ask?
a living sacrifice...a living sacrifice...i am too and not enough of everything...a
Christian church...a Christian...is focused on God...all the time...all the time
we need to be a living sacrifice...can we only imagine how hard that is?...this
only means that my life would have to completely change...i think most Christians...
all Christians would be in for a big shock...i cannot even begin to describe how
drastic my life would have to change...
as i stated my heart has been hurting for change...change i have felt myself moving
towards and fighting against...change i had already begun implementing...it is a
battle...probably a life long battle...
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